Welcome!

This site is designed for parents who want to have a fuller understanding of their child’s development and who want to cultivate well-being that is centered on positivity and living with an open heart and mind.

You’ll find clear concise overviews of vital topics, key findings from important new research, explanations about different approaches to child-rearing, and perspectives from positive psychology. It’s full of useful information you can put into action right away to help both you and your child flourish.

Plus, if you wish you had individual advice to help you with a particular parenting challenge, that’s available too. Together we can create solutions that work through coaching or parent education that is tailored specifically to your needs. Often just a few meetings is all you need to get the insights you’re seeking! And please remember to care for yourself too — you can schedule a warm supportive meeting to explore ways to awaken your own greater well-being.

Insights For Parents is here to inspire you as a parent and as a person. Please explore the various pull-down menus. The information you’ll find can help you …

♥ Understand how your child thinks, feels and acts and how these change with development

♥ Guide and support your child’s development with greater skill and awareness

♥ Nurture a deep enduring connection between you and your child

♥ Become a more informed and effective consumer of programs, advice and products for children and parents

♥ Feel more confident as a parent

♥ Support your own well-being by tending to yourself with kindness, compassion and curiosity

Insights For Parents presents a union of contemporary science and a trove of wisdom from many traditions that together help you nurture your child, and yourself, with knowledge and wisdom.

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I’m Dr. Anne Dunlea, founder of Insights For Parents. I’ve been a developmental scientist for over 30 years (learn more about my experience and credentials) and I’m also the mother of two children. Being a mother is my greatest joy and the love and bond I share with my children utterly amazes me.

As a professor, researcher and consultant I’ve met many, many parents who tell me they want to learn more about their child’s social, emotional, and cognitive development so they can know what to expect and how to best support their particular child. Parent’s tell me they want more than “10 tips for this” or “5 ways to do that.” They want …. insights.

So I created Insights For Parents to provide a meaningful resource to help parents build knowledge, understanding and confidence. It offers accurate current information from the developmental sciences and positive psychology to describe and explain important facts and processes of human behavior and development from birth through adulthood. It combines this with discussions of various parenting strategies, explanations of relevant new research, and some general guiding principles. It also helps parents and children awaken a greater sense of positivity and openness.

In addition to being a scientist and a parent, I’ve practiced and taught meditation and other personal practices for many years, so you’ll find information about these here too. “Inner work” and being friendly and kind with yourself nurtures you as a parent and supports your own development, because …. we are always developing! You’ll find different practices to explore so you can find out what most helps you have a greater sense of well-being and feel more calm and open. You’ll also find ideas for practices you can share with your child or teen.

Why a prism in the banner image? Normally light is invisible, but a prism reveals the colorful spectrum that it really is, making it stunningly visible to us. Parenting sometimes feels mysterious because what’s going on with kids can seem invisible, but understanding what underlies human behavior reveals all kinds of patterns and processes that make things much clearer. Insights For Parents offers you insights that give you a better view of how your child is developing and how you can best support your particular child.

INDIVIDUAL PARENT EDUCATION

FIND CLARITY

Do you wish you knew what to expect from your 3-year-old? Or your 8-year-old? Or your teen?
Do you wish you knew how children respond to different parenting styles so you can make smart choices for YOUR family?
Do you feel confused about what all the “experts” mean?

This isn’t a class — it’s just for you. I’ll tailor information specifically for you to explain how your child is developing right now and teach you strategies that will help you guide your particular child. You’ll discover effective ways to support child development that work for YOUR family.

♥ Schedule a free consultation

Start making lasting changes that will help your child thrive!! To schedule your free consultation (20 minutes) on Zoom or by phone, just send me a message suggesting some times during the week that are good for you to meet: addunlea@insightsforparents.com

Parent Coaching

FIND SOLUTIONS

Do you think you might be expecting too much from your child?
Feel stressed about how to handle a challenging situation?
Not sure how to nurture emotional intelligence or resilience or compassion?

Don’t worry. These are feelings many parents have and they are resolved by clarifying the issues and understanding the options you have. Together, we can find out what is causing a challenge and create solutions that work. Parent coaching offers you a month of personal guidance that provides solutions to your challenges. We begin with an initial session to identify the specific area you wish to improve and to create a clear goal with a step-by-step plan. You also get check-in phone calls, emails, and mid-way follow-up sessions.

♥ Schedule a free 20-minute consultation to find out if this is a good option for you

Coaching is available by Zoom and can be started at any time during the month. Please email me at addunlea@insightsforparents.com

Enhancing Well-Being (For Adults)

FIND MENTAL CALM

How about you????

These sessions offer you gentle warm guidance where you can learn and explore all kinds of personal practices, including mindfulness, different kinds of meditation, journaling and positive psychology techniques to discover which best nurtures you, helps you reduce stress and gives you a greater sense of happiness and well-being. Sessions emphasize accessing your own wisdom and are deeply nurturing. We can also create practices for you to share with your family, or for you to do with your child or teen.

♥ Enjoy a free mini session (about 20 minutes)!

Available via Zoom, Skype or phone. Please email me to find out more or schedule a session addunlea@insightsforparents.com

Workshops and Talks

Presentations on all of the topics covered in the website, and more! These can be designed for small groups or large audiences; short talks or full-day and half-day workshops. Please contact me to discuss possible formats and topics or to schedule a workshop or talk for your organization. Available via Zoom as we shelter during the pandemic addunlea@insightsforparents.com

~ In-person consultations and meetings are available again for fully vaccinated participants who can present a negative Covid test taken the same day as we meet together. In person consultations in Marin County; workshops and presentations in the Bay Area and Davis CA ~

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~ NEW ~

Journal writing is a great addition to your wellbeing toolkit. It can boost positivity, reduce stress, improve physical and mental health, and bring clarity. Effective journaling techniques aren’t difficult to learn, but the benefits don’t usually come from just sitting down and writing whatever comes to mind. This article briefly explains how journal writing engages the brain and offers several journaling techniques you can try. Discover what works for you! Find it here.

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~ Popular Now ~

Insights on Discipline — a series of 5 articles tells you all about different strategies, how they work, and when to use them!. You’ll find the full series, starting here. Or…

Check out Insights From Behaviorism (yep, really!) and learn when to be consistent AND when to be inconsistent! You’ll also learn about “shaping” certain kinds of behaviors.

Trying to use Consequences? Get clear on the difference between natural and contrived consequences and find out which kind works (and why).

How about “Positive Parenting?” Find out what this is all about and why so many experts recommend this approach and integrate it with other strategies to support emotional wellbeing.

Bilingualism. Wondering if it’s a good idea to expose your child to two languages? Is it confusing or beneficial? What can you expect? What happens when two languages are spoken in the home? How about bilingual schools? Here are the facts: The Gift of Bilingualism, part 1 and part 2.

The Trouble with Praising Kids (and what to do instead). Positive feedback makes us feel seen and valued. It can also help us recognize our strengths. But praise can undermine self-esteem and lead to a closed mindset. Sound confusing? The trick is knowing what to compliment — effort, not outcome. You’ll find out why in this article and learn 6 kinds of comments that will bolster your child’s sense of self-efficacy and self-esteem. Read it here.

Instant Insight:

♥ Three Techniques To Help Your Child Become Calm ♥

Frustration, exhaustion, fear, anxiety, anger…. The 3 techniques below can comfort your child, keep distress from escalating, and guide him back to a calmer state. Plus, you can teach your child to use these techniques for themselves so they can self-soothe! Try them and see which works best for your particular child. (They work for adults too – try them!)

Gentle rocking chant. As soon as you notice your infant or young child’s lips begin to quiver, you can send some gentle energy that often prevents a meltdown. Looking into your child’s eye’s, beam in warmth and affection, then gather your child in your arms, rocking gently, and slowly chant the sound “Om” on whatever pitch you like. Hold the “ohhhhhmmmmm” long. You may also use the sounds, “Amen,” chanted slowly. The vibrations in various sound combinations resonate in different parts of the body. The O-M affects the heart and brings a sense of peace. The same vibration is in “Amen.” You can teach your older child to chant with you and to self-calm by gently swaying and chanting.
Calming with acupressure. This simple, effective technique is used in many hospitals in the infant and children’s units. You’ll be alternating between two points that are calming and that release endorphins, neurotransmitters that bring a feeling of wellbeing. First, with your finger, lightly trace around the outer curve of your child’s ear, beginning at the top. When you feel a little soft indentation, stop and gently rub that spot using small circular motions for a few seconds (about 5). This is the first acupressure point. Then, place your finger on the inner crease of your child’s elbow and let it glide along the crease to the edge closest to his body. Gently rub this spot using small circular motions for about 10 – 15 seconds. This is the second point. Repeat this pattern on the other ear and elbow and continue alternating sides a few times as your child calms. You can teach your older child to use this technique for himself, to self-soothe when you aren’t there to help him.
Hands-on Centering Breath (from about age 3 through adulthood). This is a technique to teach your child. Have your child place one hand on her tummy and the other on her chest over her heart. You do the same. Then have your child take a slow deep breath in and a slow deep breath out, while you do the same for yourself. Look into your child’s eyes as you do this if you can. It may be difficult to breath deeply at first, when stress is present, but after a few turns the breath will become deeper and slower. Doing this with your child provides a model and a mirror. This technique is an ancient one that is traditionally thought to ground energy and bring balance to the heart and 2^nd chakra, which are areas associated with a sense of wellbeing and happiness. They align with vagus nerve. Once your child learns this technique, he can use it anywhere, whether or not you are present. It guides us out of the “red” zone of emotional responding and into a calm zone of more rational thinking.

~ A new Instant Insight is posted every few weeks ~

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Many sections of this website are available to everyone, including our very popular MicroPractices. The Pull-Down sections on DEVELOPMENT and PARENTING are only available with a subscription. This is where you’ll find all the articles about children’s development and discussions of the latest research plus topics on parenting and great ways to guide development. New material is added regularly. We ask you to subscribe to access this content.

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