JOURNALING

Journaling can be calming and revelatory. It can clear your mind and help you release built up feelings of stress and negativity.  It can help you build positivity and nurture qualities like resilience.

The act of writing is quite different from just sitting and thinking about things. Writing involves language and deeply engages the left hemisphere, activating parts of your brain that are logical and analytic. While this part of the brain is thus occupied, the intuitive part of your brain is free to create and feel.  In journaling, these two aspects of our brains unblock each other, helping us better understand ourselves. TIP this brain effect is more powerful if you write by hand rather than using a keyboard

There’s a growing body of research showing that journaling bolsters emotional and physical health.  (Just like many other forms of inner work.) For example, writing about distressing events speeds up physical healing from injuries and surgeries (quick review in Rodriguez 2013). Writing about past challenges, such as perceived failures, makes future challenges less stressful, triggers less cortisol and improves how we attend to and manage difficult situations (DiMinichi, et. al. 2018). There are many studies documenting the power of journaling.  They show journaling brings stress reduction, greater openness, greater positivity, more resilience and faster healing. Nice.

You can approach journaling in many ways. This isn’t a one-size-fits-all activity.

The one commonality in effective journaling is to approach it with intention and purpose. You can journal in any number of ways, depending on your particular goal or interest. For example, you might notice difficult feelings you’re having and explore them with curiosity and openness.  You might pay particular attention to moments when you feel strong, positive or resilient. You might reflect on how you feel during social interactions. You may want to draw to mind things for which you feel grateful. Or you may be curious to find out what comes to mind when you sit quietly with yourself.

The form journaling takes is also quite variable. Sometimes it is very focused on a particular issue where you want to find clarity.  Other times your writing may flow in a kind of stream of consciousness, exploring and discovering your thought patterns.  Both can bring you great personal insight. 

How to start journaling

A good way to begin journaling is by setting an intention. Your intention may be quite focused, such as “I am going to note what happens when I feel stressed or anxious” or “I am going to write down 5 things that made me feel joyful or grateful today.” Or your intention can be very open ended, as “I’m going to sit quietly with myself and jot down what comes to mind.”

There are several journaling techniques. Try exploring different ones.

Diary pages.  This is for stream of consciousness writing, just letting your thoughts flow to discover what comes up and see what it reveals about ideas that are important or interesting to your mind right now. Where has it been wondering?  What stories has it been spinning?

Reflecting or Goal Setting.  As each month or season begins, you may want to reflect back on what stands out from the passing one. You can note accomplishments, events, or challenges.  You could then set intentions (or goals) for how you’d like the next month or season to unfold. Is a new opportunity visible on the horizon?  Is there a personal skill you would especially like to nurture such as openness, resilience, patience, joy or something else? In particular, journal about how accomplishing this would make you feel.

Mental Contrasting.  If you have a goal in mind, but wonder how to achieve it, or indeed whether it is even feasible, you may want to try mental contrasting.  This energizes the brain by offering both a positive vision and realistic evaluation.  Imagine achieving something  (being promoted to manager, learning a new skill) and stay with that vision for a few minutes, really taking it in. Journal about what it feels like and describe this new role or quality in your life.  Then, reflect on things in the present reality that stand in the way of the vision (competition from a colleague, finding and registering for a class) and write these down, as well as steps you can take that can help overcome these obstacles (building a network of collaborators, researching courses).  Combining the positive vision with a realistic sense of challenges charges up the mind.  The double focus has two desirable effects.  It allows us to explore how feasible a goal is.  We commit to goals that are feasible. We then engage with reachable goals, infused with energy that can bring them into being. Journaling about this process strengthens it.

Letter Writing.  This is a powerful technique that can help you recognize and even clear out feelings you’ve been holding on to or that you have been only vaguely aware of.  You can write a letter to your future self. Your past self can write a letter to your present self. You can imagine a letter sent to you from a wise benevolent being who knows your innermost feelings and loves you unconditionally. You can also write letters to friends or family.  For example, what would your 12-year-old self think about the person you are today? What would a wise, compassionate being say to you right now? What would you like to tell a mentor or long-time friend about how they have supported you? What would you say to someone who has misunderstood or harmed you about how their behavior has made you feel?  Letters to others are not meant to be sent, they’re just for you.  Sometimes writing to someone can be highly cathartic, enabling you to release past hurts.  If you have that experience, you may want to create a little ceremony in which you actually let go of the letter by burning it, shredding it, or burying it.

Journaling with prompts.  There are literally hundreds of prompts suggested in books and by counselors that can help you get to know yourself better. Here are a few examples:

My favorite way to spend the day is…

When I’m in pain – physical or emotional – the kindest thing I can do for myself is…

I wish others knew this about me…

My greatest strengths as a parent are….

Describe a time when you acted with great compassion….

How am I feeling right now and why?

Gratitude journaling.  A great way to bolster your positivity and happiness is to become more aware of good things that are already present and to express gratefulness for them. A Gratitude journal typically notes 3 or 5 nice – or even awesome — things that occurred during the day. You then hold them in your thought for a moment and silently say, “thank you.”  These things can be simple and small (happening to hear your favorite song) or huge (like getting a raise or completing a project).  You get the idea.  You’ll find lots more about Gratitude several places in this website.  Try these: GP and Gratefulness in the pull down

Setting the scene

Place and environment make difference and can make journaling even more rewarding. It’s pretty challenging to write when there is noise, people talking, bright lights or media blaring in the background.  Gifting yourself with a gentle space that feels kind and nourishing to you will support you in your journaling.  It may be as simple as a few minutes quietly in bed in the evening. Or locked away unreachable in a bath. You may want to create a little personal place of escape, lighting a scented candle and settling into a favorite chair.  What brings you a sense of calm and privacy?

Ready to start?  Pick a technique and go for it!

Want a little more guidance or ideas for prompts just for you?  Schedule a Wellbeing session with me – we’ll work 1-on-1 for 50 minutes to get you going. To schedule, just send me a message at addunlea@insightsforparents.com

References

DiMenichi, B. C., Lempert, K. M., Bejjani, C., & Tricomi, E. (2018). Writing About Past Failures Attenuates Cortisol Responses and Sustained Attention Deficits Following Psychosocial Stress. Frontiers in behavioral neuroscience, 12, 45.

Rodriguez, T. (2013). Write to heal. Scientific American Mind, 24.