This is a variation on the LovingKindness meditation you may wish to try if it feels uncomfortable to send good wishes to yourself.

Many people beginning a LovingKindness practice feel odd, shy or uncomfortable directing good wished toward themselves. Many feel they do not deserve such kindness. Some feel it’s just weird to wish well for oneself. Others feel it’s immodest. These feelings are very common.

There is a little twist you can try, that may help you move through these feelings and become more at ease with the practice.

If you are having these kinds of feelings, try this variation. Settle yourself into your preferred seat and take a few minutes to breath fully and let your awareness move to any tight spots, breathing into them and letting some of the tension lift. When you feel settled, you are ready to begin the LovingKindness phrases.

This time, first bring to mind someone you care for very much and who cares for you: a partner, a parent, your child, a very special friend. Picture them in your mind. See them smiling, eyes shining. See them looking back at you, beaming love at you.

As you say the phrases, see this special person saying the phrases to you. He or she is lovingly saying to you, “May you be filled with Loving Kindness. May you be safe from danger. May you be well in mind and body. May you be happy.”

Let the smile, the love, the warmth, the phrases, the well-wishing come from this special person.

Try this a few times and see if you are able to accept the good wishes from this special person. You may find that this softens you and shows you that others care for you and would want you to care tenderly for yourself.